Day 12 and dreaming of freedom

This is day 12 or 13...I have lost track. We have about another three weeks to go. Overall it is not really that bad, but it is new and for someone who is always out doing things, staying in the house for a month is not a normal thing. Finally the sun is shining after a week of rain. Today I will open the house and we will spend the day on the terraces and the patio and this afternoon do a 'beach party' on the third floor terrace. It views the sea on one side and the Sierra Nevada on the other. Since it is at the top of the house and up three flights of stairs, we don't spend enough time up there. 

The entrapment is making me rethink the next stage of life. Yes, I mentally overdo everything and what for my wife is an event that will come and go without effect, my weak mental state, or weakness, has me rethinking everything. This mental weakness, if it is that, is probably the main factor that has held me back in many ways. Something happens, I overreact, throw out all the plans to date and take up some flighty new idea. These days I am full circle back to my old sailboat dreams. In the mid 2010s I was fully into the sailboat life. For a few years we had a share in a 37 footer in the nicest marina in Liguria and spent roughly one week per month aboard. Those were amazing times. We became bored of Liguria and my wife does not particularly like life aboard, so we closed that chapter of our lives with wonderful memories. Now I am thinking of a next boat. This one would be smaller, less expensive and more solitary. My dream right now (will probably change soon) is to sail it to Greece from Spain in the summer of 2021. I could easily take two months of holiday from work and bugger off for that short time. Since my high-seas experience is not admirable - I suffer from really bad sea sickness - I would follow the coast and stay within short distance of land. In that way I can wait out and rough weather. Time is not an issue, so if I find a nice place I can stay there until I am ready to leave. Sailing mates from the past would laugh at my ideas when they think about my sufferings at sea. My level of seasickness should keep me far away from boats for the rest of my life, but I am not the only one to suffer and others have overcome it. Apparently Lord Nelson suffered his whole life from seasickness.
If the world returns, at least in part, to normalcy by this summer, then I believe that I will do a long motorcycle tour, rather than kicking back and relaxing at home.